How Healthy Boundaries in Relationships Work?

Do you feel as if everyone is using you like a doormat? Do you always try to please others to gain their approval? Do you have a very low self-esteem? Is your confidence in yourself heading south fast?

If you nod to any of these questions, you probably need to set healthy boundaries in relationships immediately. 

Now, let’s explore the exact meaning of boundaries in relationships. 

Meaning of Boundaries In Relationships

Boundaries in relationships are rules that govern the mode of human interaction. They differentiate between desirable and unwelcome actions and behaviour. 

These rules will set up healthy barriers that will protect yours as well as your fellowmen’s comfort and well-being.

An example will make this point clearer to you. 

Suppose you’re a nice guy and help those who need your help as far as possible. But you’re not so nice as to tolerate anyone taking advantage of your generosity. In this case, you’ve set up a healthy boundary that will protect you against being taken for granted. 

Why Boundaries Are Crucial in Relationships 

You’re a part of a society. As a result, you must interact with others. Maybe your wife or husband, or your boss or your colleagues. You can’t avoid this. 

In this case, if you construct some healthy boundaries in each of those relationships, those boundaries will protect you and won’t let others do or say anything undesirable to you.

Types Of Boundaries In Relationships

Here you must remember that there is no single boundary that can help you in all relationships. You must set up different boundaries in different relationships. Healthy boundaries in relationships must be relationship-specific.

Now let’s find out the varieties of these boundaries.

Physical Boundaries

Suppose you dislike others barging in on you when you are in your study and make this point clear to others, you’ve set up a strong physical boundary in your relationships. 

Emotional Boundaries

If someone’s behaviour or words hurt you and you calmly tell them about it, you’ve well-defined emotional boundaries. These boundaries help you protect your emotional well-being.

Sexual Boundaries

These boundaries define what you want and don’t want during sexual encounters. Suppose you prefer some sexual positions to others. Telling your partner clearly about them will mean you’ve healthy sexual boundaries.

Financial Boundaries

Hm, this character has a habit of borrowing money from you and conveniently forgetting all about it. One day when he is at it again, you make it clear to him that this practice he must stop. Congrats! you’ve excellent financial boundaries in relationships.   

Material Boundaries

Replace money with your material possessions like your screwdriver in the above scenario, and that’s your material boundaries.

Boundaries In The Use Of Time

You’re the boss of your own time. You’ve decided when to do what and for how long and you don’t allow anyone to break this rule. Good, you’ve healthy time boundaries. 

Signs And Symptoms Of Poor Boundaries

If you don’t have set healthy boundaries in relationships, you’ll pull a lot of griefs like–

• You can never say no to even the most unreasonable demands made by others.
• People will use you like a doormat and you’ll hate them for it SILENTLY.
• You’ve very low self-esteem and always blame yourself if any relationship goes wrong.
• You can’t make prompt decisions and stick to them.
• You always try to please others and always worry about what people are thinking about you.
• You feel burned out and a sense of worthlessness

How To Set Up Boundaries In Relationships

Set Them Up Early

You should set up boundaries and make them clear to yourself and the guy you’re interacting with at an early stage of a relationship. This will act as a radar in the course of your relationships.

Talk Your Heart Out

Don’t expect others to be thought readers. Tell them what you expect and what you don’t of them clearly. This will  help clear any misconceptions and help you set healthy boundaries in relationships right from the word go.

Be Gentle But Clear

Effective communication is what matters most in setting up healthy boundaries in relationships. Don’t hesitate to clearly but gently state your likes and dislikes. You don’t have to shout your head off. Gently does it. 

Respect Others’ Boundaries

The time-tested rule of setting up healthy boundaries in relationships is to show respect to others’ boundaries. This will immediately make others respect yours. This give-and-take is the best policy in any relationship.

Shift Your Boundaries

Review your boundaries from time to time. Remember, everything changes with time. So don’t be rigid with your boundaries but review and change them if necessary as the relationship grows.

Conclusion

So you see, healthy boundaries in relationships help you and your interactions with others in several ways. Without well-defined boundaries, relationships usually go astray and disturb everyone involved. 

Clear and calm communication will help you set boundaries in an effective way whereas unclear and rude talks will spoil your interaction with others. As a part of your society, you must interact with others, so play the game. 

Read this article carefully and repeatedly. It has everything you need to know about healthy boundaries in relationships and how to set them. 

Good luck!

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